Paroxysm of happiness

-It may seem like the hardest thing to do, but you have to forget about the person who forgot about you.-

REALLY!? Hah. I wish you knew how much I think of you everyday. I try to move on but it’s not easy now, is it? You’ve given me so much to remember. I can’t even give back the happiness you’ve given me. I cannot forget you. How could you even think it’s that simple? Honestly. I’m so disappointed. It’s breaking me. My insides are turned out and they’re hurting me. I wish it hits you like an epiphany. I hope today or tomorrow you figure that I love you and I’ll always keep you in my heart no matter what.

It’s so effortless to say someone’s been forgotten and assume false details. I wish we could go back to the time we had. I wish it would be this pseudo motion when I talk to you. But no. How can I? I said “I’m busy.” I WISH YOU’D THINK WHY I SAID THAT. Gosh.

It’s tough to live now, knowing that you think you’re forgotten when I cannot cease to believe that you’ve FORGOTTEN. If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t be saying this. Just please know that I haven’t. Somehow. Just know it. Don’t hate me. I miss you and I love you forever and always.

IT’S THE FIRST DAY OF THE MONTH OF MARCH. MARCH. A MONTH FULL OF EXAMS. EXAMS THAT WILL DECIDE MY FUTURE. Well, sort of. They commence from the 5th of March. Sitting idly in my room trying to feed bullshit to my brain, I see status messages on FB about the nice weather. I didn’t really pay much attention. And then BOOM. In a split second, the scenario changes. A heavy downpour in this desert! A beam of ecstasy pierced me! Thunder..those drops..a sandstorm climbing the baby steps! Everything looks so pure. All evil seems to have been washed away. Plants struggling to keep their roots in place. Everything appears archaic and not superficial. For once, it all seems REAL. Cars getting washed by mother nature. Trees enjoying their bath. Atmosphere combining with rain..a nice slushy. xD

I cannot dance in the rain. I might fall sick. I have to think about my damned exams and scoring well even though..this kind of rain might never come again! >.<

There you go. The flip side. Thinking about studying..studying immaterial things. Not learning, memorizing to achieve a good score and pleasing your parents. Sometimes, I wish I could just run into the wild, burn all cash and live like a gypsy.

It’s still pouring heavily. Unexpected weather changes make me happy. Cycling in the rain is just epic. :)

Whenever it rains heavily, all my floodgates in my head just open. There’s a free flow of thoughts and desires. My heart yearns for something unknown..and not being it to recieve it doesn’t bother me. The yearning makes me happy. I think it’s just a pseudo emotion or rather it’s an emotion that isn’t stagnant. Rain makes me feel like I can achieve anything! It’s so pure and the pleasure is undeniably and inculpably beautiful.

Hate you exams with a passion. Listening to TDF. Die bitch[exams]. Ima live my life, homie. x]